YES

 

MICKEY ROONEY IN TROUBLE WITH THE MOB AND MARRIED TO A WOMAN WHO HAD BEEN MARRIED TO A MOBSTER

Of all the wives Mickey Rooney had, perhaps the one that Mrs. Smith thought to be the user was Elaine Mahnken, who had started modeling as a teenager and had first been married to a man who went to prison for armed robbery.  Divorced, and a young woman, she went home to live with her mother, a neighbor of Rooney. She grew up seeing him on the Andy Hardy series he starred in, and also admired him as a musician. (He played piano and drums.) But what was in it for her?

Excerpt:  "For thirty days, Mickey proposed to Elaine every night (reminiscent of his courtship of Ava.) For thirty days, Elaine politely told Mickey that she wasn't in love with him...."  (page 325)

It was 1952. He was thirty-two and she was twenty-three. She claimed he was already in financial upheaval. Her ex-husband was in similar trouble with the mob.

Excerpt: (Elaine speaking) "I handled the finances for two and a half years.  Finally, the government was paid, all our bills were paid.  And I took the envelope that contained all of our unpaid bills.  And I said, 'Look Mickey, no more debts.' And what was the thanks I got? Two weeks later Mickey went up to Vegas to play a nightclub date.  He went to the tables and lost fifty grand, just like that. We were back in the hole again.  When I heard that I threw up my hands and said, 'No more.  From now on he could take care of his own finances."  (Page 326)

 

Excerpt: .... " Mickey found out that Elaine was "meeting" her ex-husband.  She claimed he owed money to the mob in Vegas and needed cash to replay them, and he needed it right away because they were putting the heat on him.  She pleaded with Mickey to lend him the money, "as one human being to another," which he refused....  (page 326)

Elaine's ex also put pressure on Mickey for money. The man was murdered with two shots to the back of his head by men working for Mickey Cohen, the mobster.

Excerpt:  "The pseudonymous Mrs. Smith told us, "She (Elaine) didn't give a shit about Mick. She saw him as a sugar daddy who might be able to get her in the movies... Mickey tried to keep her happy... He bought her a vacation home in Lake Arrowhead, a new house in Studio City, and all kinds of toys, like a speedboat, clothes, servants.  She lived like a queen.  But Mickey gets bored easily," his longtime mistress admitted.  "They lived separate lives, and Micky was on to new girls, gambling and living ... well, living like Mickey.  She was living in Lake Arrowhead and partying... I'm also pretty sure she was f***ing her ex-husband who was a hood and e-con, and (she) was giving him money before he was killed.  Mickey was constantly whining to me about her.  He just dreaded another divorce.  (Pages 326-327)

Missy here!

As I read these passages, and the rest of the book, it seems to me that Mickey Rooney was a man who makes decisions on a whim, or as dictated by his sexual drive, and doesn't stop to think much.  He's always running from one situation to another.  Mrs. Smith is the stalwart one in his life who maintains her own marriage while being the consistency in his life.

So I ask you if today we would consider Mrs. Smith to be a "co-dependent" who, because he has her, helps him continue to maintain a chaotic way of living.  It seems to me that she accepted him as he was, giving him an unconditional kind of love that did not depend on him performing as a Hollywood star, as a husband, as a father to her children (if she had any), and so on.

 

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ELEGANT

 

"MRS. SMITH" WAS HOLLYWOOD-CLOSE TO MICKEY ROONEY and KNEW HE'D BEEN ADDICTED : MISSY ASKS YOU

Mrs. Smith, who was in a relationship with Hollywood star Mickey Rooney, was clearly "in the know" when it came to Mickey and the actresses he worked with.  She says she got involved with him 1940ish.

She says that the studio got both Judy Garland (the star of Wizard of Oz) and Mickey Rooney hooked on drugs, sleeping pills (downers) and amphetamines (uppers) and that is how the studio controlled and managed their child stars.  Mickey and Ava Gardner, in their first marriages to each other, went out to clubs and drank heavily.  According to the authors Ava new he was screwing around but when she got word that he had gone off with a fifteen year old girl, she knew she was on the way out of that marriage.  It seems to me that Mickey Rooney may have been addicted to booze and sex and gambling. He was debt with the bookies and as a result there was always debt as well as his ability to earn more because, at least for some time, he was a top earning star.  The studio knew all this about him but they didn't stop casting him.  He was addicted to Ava, even after their divorce he wanted her back.

  

Missy asks you!  Are you an addict?  What of?  

When in your life did your addiction begin?

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SOME WAYS TO TELL IF YOUR "FRIEND" WANTS TO UPGRADE TO "FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS"

SOME WAYS TO TELL IF YOUR "FRIEND" 

WANTS TO UPGRADE TO "FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS"

"Nothing" has happened yet. 

How do you tell that your friend wants to change your relationship to include sex?

You may have read other posts where I said that I don't believe in "friends with benefits," hooking up, or sleeping around. I don't because I believe it's true that an individual has only so much "libidinal energy" and that using some or all of it with a person or persons who do not want to have a deeper or more meaningful relationship with you is a misuse of that energy and will make you loose focus. If you want a partnership your dating should be goal oriented. However, you may not have my values at this time in your life. (My values have changed too over time.) You may feel in need of an adventure or an alternative relationship. Sometimes a friendship evolves into a different, more romantic relationship or you may loose the "friends with benefits" relationship completely when the sexual aspect of it ends.

Here's my list:

He uses sexy jokes to test your interest. Sexy joking can be a test. (If you blush you may be embarrassed or shocked. That is not a good sign. Or you might think the joke is funny and find yourself laughing at it and that will encourage him to tell more.) Ask yourself if he's making these jokes when you're the only audience or if it's just the guys entertaining each other and you happen to be "one of the guys" at that time.

He's interested in knowing if when you use the term "friend" when talking about another man, that includes sexuality. In other words, since he is your "friend" does that mean he has a chance? Be sure that he knows that when you use the term friend you mean platonic (no sex) friendship, if that's true. You might say something like "When I say friend, I mean platonic friend. No sex." You might also define how you use the term "boyfriend." Some people think boyfriend means lover.

He makes a point of telling you look nice, pretty, beautiful, or sexy. A friend can think so and giving and receiving compliments can be nice, but what he's communicating is that he's taking special interest in how you look and has been observing your body. This may extend to comments such as "I've never seen you wear the same outfit twice." or "That jewelry is perfect for you, the way it accents your neck." (He didn't say accents your dress.) Unless he's in fashion, most men are not so observant of what you wear.

He takes gentlemanly body language a little further. A touch to your back as he walks with you can be a protective gesture and some men simply feel that's their role as an escort. A light touch on your forearm is generally thought of as informal and in the safe zone. If you're on a hike and going up a hill and it looks like you need help, he may offer or take your hand and then the hand hold is dropped when you get to safety. But a man who is feeling attracted to you, even when he considered public displays of affection to be avoided, may simply walk a little too close to you such as in the shoulder-bag range. He may also stand a little closer to you and in front of you in what I call the pre-hug phase rather than to your side. (Is he close enough that he could easily pull you towards him?) 

He may also make eye contact with you a little longer and solidly than "just a friend."  

Sometimes you just cannot be friends with a certain man, the vibe is just not platonic. If you think this may be true at the start. you may be feeling interested in him. Would it be better to wait and see if this turns into a romance?

Think!

What do you want out of life?

Is what you want realistic? (Make that judgement for the now and for the future, as best you can.)

Are you willing and able to have sex with someone you're not that into AND be focused on another relationship?

Are the two of you being very careful, practicing safer sex and contraception? (Are you together enough to go get tested together?)

What if you fall in love and he does not? Or he falls in love with you but you are only interested in the friendship?

How often do you talk to or get together with your friend?  What kind of things do you do together?

Does he care about you and what's happening in your life? Or is he mostly talking about sex? (Talking about sex can include quizzing you about your past relationships and sexual history.)

Does he invite you out or do you only get together for sex? Where do you get together? 

Who calls who?  How often?  Does he call you at the last minute or at short notice to get together or give you some time to decide and plan?

Are you home alone when he's dating someone else and how does that feel to you?

Are you a secret, someone he does not include in his friendship circles?  Is he your secret?  Why?

If you had an emergency could you call him to help you?

Missy

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GOOD LUCK LOVE

 

HOW DID "MRS. SMITH KEEP A RELATIONSHIP WITH MICKEY FOR SIXTY-FIVE YEARS?

Mrs. Smith spoke to the authors of The Life and Times of Mickey Rooney.

..."I became sexually involved with Mickey between his divorce of B.J. and his marriage to Mart.  Mickey is a very caring and passionate lover.  While we never considered a relationship beyond clandestine meetings and coorespondence, it also was a friendship like no other.  We were able to tell each other our deepest secrets and confidences, which we have done for over sixty years.  We never had a scheduled time or meeting setup; it just happened...well, when it happened.  Whenever we could sneak away. While the sexual aspect eventually was not the focus, we remained almost soul mates.  I heard about the travails with his flavor of the years, and I was able to unload my problems. We both listened and commented.  It was actually better than being in psychoanalysis.  ...  We sometimes talked on the phone, and many times we corresponded  We never sent any letters to our homes; we were very careful... (page 478)

The two led their own lives but Mrs. Smith was in attendance at parties where Mickey, the life of the party, clearly went into another room to have sex with someone (other than her) or left with a woman.

Mrs. Smith also had strong opinions of his various wives.  She thought Martha was a drinker who humiliated him.  Elaine took money from him to help pay off her first husband's gambling debts but seem to be into him for the money.  Barbara, whom Mickey had children with, was murdered and Mrs. Smith reported this terribly traumatized  Mickey.  Soon after he married Barbara's best friend, Marge, who became mother to the four children he'd had with Barbara.  Carolyn, Mrs. Smith reported, was temporarily of interest to Mickey, at a time when he wanted to give up Hollywood and hide out.  Jan was possessive but willing to settle down with Mickey.

So we know that in some way Mrs. Smith and her husband were film-business or Hollywood connected, because there was some socialization with Mickey.  Also, they were close enough that the couple loaned money to Mickey that he never repaid....

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"MRS. SMITH " : THE MISTRESS WHO LASTED 65 YEARS THROUGH OLD HOLLYWOOD ACTOR MICKEY ROONEY'S EIGHT MARRIAGES

This won't be the first time here at MISTRESS MANIFESTO that I've elected a name-unknown woman to the pantheon of Mistress of the Month. I did so back in June of 2017 when I elected "Evey" the once-upon-a-time mistress of singer-songwriter James Taylor. We saw that relationship through the eyes of his then wife, singer-songwriter Carly Simon.  

This month we learn about "Mrs. Smith" who was in an unconventional relationship with Rooney for sixty five years. The book was published in 2015 and she was alive to be interviewed at the time.

The book "The Life and Times of Mickey Rooney" is the primary source for this month's posts.  It's considered to be a definitive biography by authors WIlliam J. Birnes and Richard Lertzman.

MRS. SMITH

Born in 1920, an actor, singer, and dancer with roots in vaudeville stage entertainment, Mickey Rooney started out as a baby and made his first film in 1926. Born Joe Yule, Jr. in Brooklyn, New York, he became a famous Hollywood star young and was the top earning Hollywood star in the late 1930's. He's most known today for staring with Elizabeth Taylor in the equestrian film National Velvet in 1944.  A child actor who retained his youthful looks into his thirties, Rooney would go on to take roles in several other equestrian films but by age 40 the height of his career was in the past, yet he soldiered on. Rooney lived to be 93 years old and by then had worked in three hundred films. He was never a hands-on father but most of his children were proud to be his and loved him. In real life he lived to bet on the horses and was an investor in the Santa Anita horse-racing park.

The five-foot-two actor was an unlikely lothario because - I hate to say this - he was not physically the most handsome of men. Yet, he had attractive energy and charisma and according to Mrs. Smith he was an energetic and inventive lover. His chaotic life was fueled and fired by gambling - betting on the horse races, drinking, and womanizing, though he married eight time, fathered ten children, and had unknown numbers of other lovers. He himself said in his own memoir that he could have just about anyone. (He liked women who were taller than he was.) So it was entirely intriguing to me that he had a mistress, a married woman who socialized in some of the same Hollywood circles that he did. It's evidence that the mistress can play an entirely different role than a wife and that a mistress can be a mistress for a lifetime. There is no evidence that he Kept Mrs. Smith financially but she says he gave her husband his start in the business and that they lent him some money that was never paid back.

A married woman herself, Mrs.

Smith, the name used by the authors to hide her identity, comes at us in chapter 26 of the book, a chapter called Time May Lie Heavy Between.

"We were both at a party, a little tipsy and ... well, it happened."  So begins the story of a former actress  - her long-term spouse is still unaware of her unconventional sixty-five year love affair with Mickey Rooney, which lasted from the 1940's until his death.  She was also his confidant, pen pal, friend, and possibly the only person to whom Mickey unlocked his deepest secrets, desires, and fears."  (page 477) 

Mrs. Smith had taken a vow of silence - self imposed - and was finally ready to speak!

She may have been the only person on earth that he could trust to be his confidant and though they got together here and there, when possible. He wrote to her, so she clearly had some way to receive his letters and keep them without risking her marriage. She knew of his affairs and his marriages, the intense drama of his life, especially when one of his wives with whom he had four children was murdered, and his addictions of which there were a few, and perhaps there was no one who got to know the human being that Mickey was better.

Stick with us this month as we learn more!

Missy

You may also be interested in these posts that are in my archives:

June 2017

EVEY – Singer-Songwriter James Taylor’s Japanese New York Mistress and His Wife, Singer-Songwriter Carly Simon

August 2015

BOB HOPE

So Many Women So Little Time - Who Was The Long Married Comedian – Actor and Patriot’s Mistress? Sandy Vinger For One

September 2017

PAUL NOVAK – 27 Years as Mae West’s Much Younger Live-In Companion: Protective and Loving Till The Day She Died

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Notes: IMDb : Micky Rooney also provided some of the information for this post.

The beautiful actress Ava Gardner was his first of eight wives, and Mickey Rooney's other seven wives were not well known individuials.